Wednesday, January 28, 2015

My dark truth update - Bell Let's Talk day

Today is Bell Let's Talk Day. A wonderful day to bring awareness to metal health and to help end the stigma. With every text, call and tweet Bell will be donating money to this initiative. Check out the link!

Let's talk.

A year ago I shared my dark truth with you on my blog post. I wanted to share my struggles with mental health in a hope that I could make one person not feel alone. I know that I achieved that by the comments and conversations that happened with many of you that followed. I have to say that I am extremely grateful for that. I am continually touched when I meet someone (virtually or in life) that is willing to share their journey or offer me love and support.

My wish is that we can all be more open and honest about ourselves. I know that as many people that have reached out to me there are far more that have not. These people are in our lives and often are suffering alone. If you are, please do not feel that you need to be as public and open as I am. We all need to be ourselves, to find comfort in any way that we need. But I do know that there is a freedom in sharing. It is liberating to be honest. And more importantly it is amazing to be loved and supported. We all need that.

If you do not suffer from mental illness and you are still reading you may be asking me what the deal is. I will tell you that I personally struggled with sharing my dark truth for a long time. The answer is simple. Because I was scared of judgement. I was worried about the labels and stigma attached with metal health. I am a strong successful woman and my pride thought that if I was honest people would think less of me. If people have thought that I they certainly have not told me so. And we all know I cannot control someone’s thoughts. What I can do is help to educate those thoughts in a hope that we all can become more understanding and compassionate.

There are many resources today that you can read about metal health and the statistics are staggering. I can guarantee that someone you know is struggling. I would encourage you to visit Bell Let’s Talk and read some of the stats.

So how am I today? A year later? Well, not so great. I suffer from depression and anxiety. I have actively been in therapy and self-improvement classes for at least six months. The road has been long and my happy was a long two years ago. But I know that I will slowly, someday, get back there. For now I will continue what I am doing. My husband, my mom and close friends are my lifeline.  Some days are better than others. Every day I do not want to get out of bed. But I do. I keep myself (and my mind) busy. I strive to surround myself with positive energy. Many days I am a robot and am just working through the actions. But I know I survived another day and am a step in the right direction.

With my anxiety I have learned some great coping skills. I do breathing exercises, mindfulness, thought logs and I talk to myself. I tell myself that things will be okay. It is not magic and does not work with the snap of my fingers or a wiggle of my nose … but over time it is progressively getting better.

In the past I have shared with about my 8 year old daughter. She is doing very well with her ADHA, Anxiety and SPD (Sensory processing disorder). She too is benefiting from therapy and a lot of coping skills. I am so very proud of her strength and determination. She is becoming more and more self-aware. She has bad days but we are here for her and we are working through it all as a family.

I guess my message to you today is hope. I have hope that our family will continue to heal and grow. That I will find my happy.  I hope you have your happy. If not I hope that you will find the strength to get there. And most of all I hope that we all are more compassionate and understanding of each other. I hope that we can end the stigma attached with metal health so that we can all be a little bit more open and free.

Thank-you for taking your time to read. I sincerely appreciate it. Have a wonderful day!

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